Forget The Ring, Put Some Henna On It
The growing trend among many African American and/or Non White Muslim women are that they are either single, or “talking” to a prospect husband. That haram relationship comes ends without any nikkah . But it seems as though Muslim men are indeed getting married, but to the non- believer.
Don’t get us wrong “love is love”, but that concept doesn’t apply to the Muslimah. Which entirely is due to the fact that she can only marry a man of Islamic faith. Where as though her counter part can marry a Christian woman.
Under Islamic Shari’a law no Muslim woman can marry a non-Muslim man, but it’s permissible for a man to do so. Why is this so ?
Well the hadith permits it, and Allah swt knows best.
According to Qur’an (5:5),
“This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith – his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers“.
Do As I Say , Not As I Do
It’s very common to see a Muslim man with his beard, cut off pants, and sometimes even a throbe walking hand in hand with a women showing her adornment. While the fully covered Muslimah walks by single, and confused. It seems as though some men prefer to convert their women into Islam.
Some brothers prefer to convert their future wives because they can then shape the religion into what they want their wives to believe and practice.
The noble Quran (2:221) also states,
“And do not marry Polytheist women until they believe, And a believing slave woman is better than a Polytheist women, even though she might please you. And do not marry Polytheist men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a Polytheist men, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember“.
The non believing wife according to Quran will not enter Jannah (paradise) despite being married to a Muslim man! Troubling to say the least , but that doesn’t stop the believing man from trying. Many women say before they converted to Islam the romantic advances of Muslim men were plenty. But once they began to observe Hijab their days became lonely.
A’isha from Philadelphia, a 25 year old convert sister shared her courtship experiences ;
” I would have to say that out of the 3 men I’ve had serious relationships with through out my life all 3 were active muslims. They were pious and all. I was proposed to 3 times. All by muslim men who wanted me to convert to Islam. I converted while I was single, and since then ( one year later) I have yet to have anyone show interest ! Its’s lonely, and hard to maintain a halal lifestyle when you see uncovered women, and non believers marrying pious well off muslim men ,and living the life you make dua for. It’s depressing to say the least.”
Muslim men have the right to marry 4 women at a time in Shia law, and are encouraged not to involve the governing body of the land.
The consensus with Muslim women of marrying age is that Muslim men know they have to work harder to have sexual relations with pious women. They have to sit down with the Wakil, and actually be serious. Instead of taking their time, and testing out the goods before committing to them.
Should Muslims advance in the times of dating verse waiting to be paired with their deen mate chosen by Allah swt bytheir imam?
Do Haram Relationships Still Exist?
Should a woman only cover after marriage? Or should she just dress modestly, but wait to wear hijab in order to nab the attention of prospective husband? Also should the frustrated muslimah attend gender mixed events, and give out her number? Instead of handing out her wakil’s number!?!
These are the questions many of our muslim sisters entertain due to society, and well…loneliness .
I Pray Allah Makes It Easy For You
Stay strong sisters halal lifestyles in this dunya aren’t easy, and we all can fall victim to fitnah. The most gracious , the most merciful gives test to the ones he loves. He loves to hear your voice , so he tells the angels to wait to answer your duas! For non believers he wants them to leave him alone, so he just gives them what they want ( even if it’s not in their best interest). That brother may not be right for you at this time , and needs the non believer to humble him or bring him back to Allah .
By means we don’t know ! Who really knows sis?!? Only Allah swt! But what’s for you is written and putting your chasity in the hands of a reckless haram relationship isn’t worth it. At all. In Jannah your house will be full of love while in this dunya you may have to wait.
Always remember to never compare yourself to non believing married women! Even if she is married to a brother because her punishment is way harsher because she knows of Allah , and still doesn’t believe. She lives in his love and benefits ,but still hasn’t taken Shahada . Could you imagine ?
Be like Khadijah , may Allah swt be pleased with her, and wait for your King. She refused multiple proposals from men of high calibers. The first Muslim of this ummah ! She knew her worth , and what Allah swt had in store for her. Khadijah listened to his plan , and believed in our beloved Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings no be upon him. When the prophet was visited by the angels while meditating in a cave in the mountains he thought they were jinn! Khadijah told him they were angels sent from God! If it were not for her dedication Prophet Muhammad pbuh could’ve taken a different path!
Just because Abdul or Ahmad overlooked you , always hold your head high because Allah swt chose you!